The READIN Family Album
Me and Sylvia on the canal in Qibao (April 2011)

READIN

Jeremy's journal

Finding a way to talk about the reading experience is, I've realised, the greatest pleasure of writing; where it ends is of no importance.

Stephen Mitchelmore


(This is a page from my archives)
Front page
Most recent posts about Writing Projects
More posts about Projects

Archives index
Subscribe to RSS

This page renders best in Firefox (or Safari, or Chrome)

Saturday, July 7th, 2012

🦋 (silly)

It's foreign, outlandish, in Spanish extraño,
the moving hand writes and escribe la mano
you play with your meanings and juegas con rima
built up from an image, imagen encima

posted morning of July 7th, 2012: Respond
➳ More posts about Poetry

Friday, July 6th, 2012

Está bien te dices
Déjalo sencillamente
Transpirar acerca de ti
Solamente hunde
En el momento ajeno
Luego harás.
Se llama ésto «técnica»,
Técnica desechable.

posted evening of July 6th, 2012: Respond
➳ More posts about Projects

Thursday, July 5th, 2012

🦋 La obra de Josner Ávala

La cuerda corta: finidades, la poesía de Maximiliano Josner Ávala fue 1914 publicada en la prensa Universidad Técnica del Estado, editado y con introducción del colega y discípulo de Josner Ávala, Miguel Arroncoyo de Marcoa. Fue el único libro de Josner Ávala desde su tesis Sobre las tradiciones y instituciones de los peruanos indígenos casi 40 años antes, y fue publicada unos seis años despues de su muerte inoportuna. Su opus magnum, un tratado acerca de la divinidad del tiempo, nunca se completase.

La ambición de Miguel Arroncoyo editar y publicar ese tratado puede bien haber influido el escogimiento de poemas que componen las Finidades -- esas 229 estrofas representan las miles de páginas de los diarios que fueron donados a la biblioteca de la universidad, en armonia con el último testamento de Josner Ávala. De Marcoa las define en su introducción como «poemas breves y crípticos sobre magia» y como una «investigación en la divinidad»; pero las leyendo en el contexto de los diarios, se muy fácil entienden como notas personales, pensamientos sobre su infancia y su orfandad, la pérdida de la madre y luego de los abuelos.

posted evening of July 5th, 2012: Respond
➳ More posts about This Silent House

Wednesday, July 4th, 2012

🦋 "brief cryptic poems about magic and the divinity of time"

Here's a bit of how I'm imagining Maximiliano Josner's voice...

corta euforia ya no ciego
gustaría a mi abuelo ver
la cuerda corta que lo separa
de dios

del tuerto el juego de manos
sonrisa, rápido ofuscamiento
el robo consagrado

posted afternoon of July 4th, 2012: Respond
➳ More posts about Language

🦋 Some other approaches to Laura and Peter (mistranslation and shortcuts)

Trying to flesh out the characters slightly... here are some different, fragmentary approaches, and a picture of my backyard that I'm happy with.

posted afternoon of July 4th, 2012: 1 response
➳ More posts about SOPOSP

Sunday, July first, 2012

🦋 Revision!

Another stab at the story of Laura and Peter's day in the life.

Morning

Laura's wishing Peter would just
Drop this false persona, would just
Break this patterned silence
Where he's built a lonesome castle. Now she
Cries out in the morning when she
Wakes and finds him gone. She wishes
He'd reach out and touch her, wants
To hold him in his grief -- she wants to
Have back these long years that
     she's been waiting for his voice. Peter's
Walking in the garden, where his
Winding paths are laid,
Blooming crocus in the springtime, blooming
Hostas in the shade, he wanders
Down the road to town, but nothing's
Open Sunday morning, now he
Rubs his eyes and wonders if he'll
      ever find his home.

Expectation conquers knowledge and the
Evidence of senses; what I
      see and hear and feel
      I'll never grasp, I'll never find;
For all I cogitate and pray I'll never
Sit beside your bedside, seeing
Gauzy patterns traced out
On the page of wounded time.

She gets up, groggy, runs the water,
Steaming up the mirror, she hears
Peter downstairs in the kitchen,
      hopes he's making coffee,
Laura's tired out, she didn't sleep well,
Combs her hair and squints and in the
Mirror she can see the look of
      anguish on her face.

She's downstairs with a cup of coffee,
Looking quizzically at Peter,
Peter's solemn face that just
      can't seem to meet her gaze.
A question's in the air and they both know it, but the
      heavy silence keeps their lips held tight; keeps
Heavy thoughts drawn back to yesterday.

Peter in his sweatshirt and his
Groggy eyes, unshaven, takes the
     coffeepot that's sitting
On the table, on the table.
He mumbles some reply to Laura's gaze, he smells the coffee,
Smiles weakly, frets; he says
The weather's beautiful outside this morning,
      springtime Sunday morning, says
      we ought to take our bikes up to the Glen Trail, take a ride.  

Afternoon

Laura's in the garden, weeding,
Smiling, legs are aching
From the ride up Union Hill to Chester
      fresh now in her memory;
She bends down, and the shadow
Of the mountain laurel's branches
Writes — asemic scripture sliding off her shoulder as she moves.
Peter's sitting reading in the sunshine, drinking coffee,
Now his book lies open on the lawn,
      he's watching Laura working,
Dancing slow across the garden,
Yellow t-shirt smudged with topsoil,
Dancing slow across the garden
      through the sunlight and the shade.

Evening

Laura's by the bedside, catches
Peter's eye, she smiles and asks him
      what's he thinking, work tomorrow, ready for another week?
He yawns and stretches, smiles back, already dreaming some,
      he mumbles, says let's take some time off in July, he'll maybe
      take some days around the 4th... and fireworks already going
      off in the air around them

posted morning of July first, 2012: 2 responses

Saturday, June 30th, 2012

🦋 Lauren* and Peter (morning)

I want to think about this story (or poem, or poem-story) I am trying to write, without actually working (right now) on writing it -- analyze what I have, what I'm looking for, how to get there, whether it is worth while. Suddenly realized this morning that this blog would be an agreeable venue for such a project -- a journal is the right place for thinking about the writing process. Maybe I'll come up with something useful, maybe not. What I have right now, what seems like a well-crafted kernel for a SOPOPS -- a lovely fun, sing-song meter that is reminding me a bit of "The Raven" and occasional rhyme; two characters Lauren and Peter in a stable, complex relationship, living together, maybe not connecting with each other quite as much as they'd like to, needing and not always finding each other's support; I have the setting as a smallish town, maybe upstate NY, maybe Maryland, and the house they live in, not far from the commercial district of the town. A garden, the the street they live on is not really described yet but I have a vague picture of it in mind -- small houses, the lots are not super-wide but not cramped either. When the story opens it is early morning on a Sunday late in Spring, still pretty dark out but getting light in the east, streetlights are still on. Peter can't sleep, he is walking down the street wishing something was open in town, a shop where he could buy a pack of cigarettes, longing for a little human contact -- and this longing is strange because after all his (wife? long-term girlfriend?) Lauren is back at home, realizing he's not in bed with her, (and the understanding here is that this has been a habit of his, insomnia, not being around early in the morning). Scene changes are kind of loosely spaced here, she's in the bathroom, she hears him downstairs, hopes he's making coffee, then they are both downstairs in the eat-in kitchen with a coffeepot, he's not meeting her eye.

But so now what happens? I'm thinking there was some transaction between them in the last day or two that made the two of them uncomfortable, drove them a little apart, but I'm not sure what it was, quite, and anyway that is more scene-setting, what needs to happen is a plot of some kind that will unfold over the course of the day. Structurally it would be nice to have three chapters, named maybe Morning, Afternoon, Evening, with maybe a Yesterday in between the last two. Hoping the result of whatever happens in the story will be Lauren and Peter feeling a bit more of a connection in the last scene, where they are going to bed Sunday evening, here I could see putting a short bit of conversation, just a couple of lines, and a pleasant visual description of the shadow on the wall by their bedside, possibly even hinted-at hanky panky. So no earth-shattering revelation in other words, just a day in the life, a minor resolution of a minor clash. (Yeah, still nothing in focus, but at least the sense that there is an image there to come into focus.)

* Is this the right name for her? I had "Laura" for a while but last night came to believe that it did not sound quite right. I guess she could also be named "Kathy"... Her husband (or long-term boyfriend) Peter is definitely named Peter. Not sure why but it seems to fit him like a glove.

† The newly-dubbed genre of Story (Or Poem, Or Story-Poem)

posted morning of June 30th, 2012: 1 response

Friday, June 29th, 2012

🦋 Morning

Lauren's wishing Peter would just
Drop this false persona, would just
Break this patterned silence
Where he's built a lonesome castle. Now she
Cries out in the morning when she
Wakes and finds him gone. She wishes
He'd reach out and touch her, wants
To hold him in his grief -- she wants to
Have back these long years that
      she's been waiting for his voice. Peter's
Walking in the garden, where his
Winding paths are laid,
Blooming crocus in the springtime, blooming
Hostas in the shade, he wanders
Down the road to town, but nothing's
Open Sunday morning, now he
Rubs his eyes and wonders if he'll
      ever find his home.

Expectation conquers knowledge and the
Evidence of senses; what I
      see and hear and feel
      I'll never grasp, I'll never find;
For all I cogitate and pray I'll never
Sit beside your bedside, seeing
Gauzy patterns traced out
On the page of wounded time.

She gets up, groggy, runs the water,
Steaming up the mirror, she hears
Peter downstairs in the kitchen,
      hopes he's making coffee,
Lauren's tired out, she didn't sleep well,
Combs her hair and squints and in the
Mirror she can see the look of
      anguish on her face.
She's downstairs with a cup of coffee,
Looking quizzically at Peter,
Peter's solemn face that just
can't seem to meet her gaze.
A question's in the air and they both know it, but the
      heavy silence keeps their lips held tight; keeps
Heavy thoughts drawn back to yesterday.

Still having some trouble figuring out where to take this. It seems like it could potentially make a really good short story in verse; but (a) how fucking pretentious would that be? and (b) I don't have a story, just a setting of the scene and introduction of characters. I guess that's as good a place as any to start at a story, but it's not any significant portion of the whole task.

posted evening of June 29th, 2012: 3 responses

🦋 Third draft: I love a good coincidence!

This morning, riding the train from Mountain Station, I happened to be looking through a notebook of mine, having a hard time pushing myself to write, so just rereading some pieces I've written over the past year or so and fretting about how they are not good enough... I found an early draft of the poem "Morning", which I really enjoyed reading, was even having a hard time picturing anything that could be changed to make it better -- a nice time reading. (But can also be a bit worrysome, like "Hm, well it is not good enough and yet I enjoy reading it; ergo my taste in poetry is poor.") Happily(?), it did not take too many repeated readings to start hearing missed timings and improper tones...

Then this evening, back home, I was looking at my blog and noticed a referral from Orbis Quintus (a READIN-editorial-favorite blog for interesting links about archæology and more, which has been dormant for a while but is back in a big way this past week or so) to an old page of mine, one which coincidentally features midway down a later (second?) draft of the poem in question. Well! It did not take much to persuade myself that that was what I should be working on this evening. It's getting better, the poem, and it was pretty good to start with I think, with just a couple of semi-glaring flaws that came out to me a little more with each rereading. I will post the version I'm working on now a little later.

posted evening of June 29th, 2012: 1 response

Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

🦋 Manual of Poetry and Blogging

(Keywords pastiche, mistranslation?)

Si, en suma, fuese un acto carente de honestidad el simple gesto de coger un pincel o una pluma, si, una vez más en suma (la primera vez no llegó a serlo), tengo que negarme a mí mismo el derecho de comunicar o comunicarme, porque habiéndolo intentado fracasé y no habrá más oportunidades.

...No soy pintor.

What comes to mind as a means here of identifying with the narrator, or rather as a way of explaining the identification that is occurring, is to mistranslate his stream of consciousness, to replace the references to painting and to calligraphy with one's own arts and shortcomings; of course one would not be able to hew too closely to the original text for long/at all, and it might straightaway degenerate into pastiche and thence to original writing (a degeneration devoutly to be wished, one might assert) -- one might well veer off into pedagogy, might feel compelled to instruct one's (sparse, and ever dwindling!) audience in methods of blogging, on how to write without having to consider it writing, on how to take heart in one's feelings of inferiority to the successful bloggers and/or successful writers and journalists, to rejoice in one's own failure and lack of intellectual cred. Talk (to them, since you know who the couple of people are who read your journal, though perhaps without being up front about whom it is you're addressing) about composing posts with a particular ear in mind, and about how to avoid feeling slighted when you fail to engage, and here of course you will want to be careful about laying down a guilt trip, and will wonder if this bait will be sweet enough to pull anyone in. Push them away more likely!

Hm: an idea worth pursuing perhaps.

posted evening of June 12th, 2012: Respond
➳ More posts about José Saramago

Previous posts about Writing Projects
Archives

Drop me a line! or, sign my Guestbook.
    •
Check out Ellen's writing at Patch.com.

What's of interest:

(Other links of interest at my Google+ page. It's recommended!)

Where to go from here...

Texts
Programming
Woodworking
Music
South Orange
Friends and Family
Blogs
Comix
readincategory