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He'd had the sense, moments earlier, that Caroline was on the verge of accusing him of being "depressed," and he was afraid that if the idea that he was depressed gained currency, he would forfeit his right to his opinions. He would forfeit his moral certainties; every word he spoke would become a symptom of disease; he would never win an argument.

Jonathan Franzen


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🦋 Dream blogging

Last night's dream was taking place on a lot of different levels of narrative resolution, and I woke up remembering several of them. Unfortunately all that melted away very quickly -- the only bit of it I remember is this, which I believe was the enclosing story:

I'm at my friend Michael's funeral. (It's just occurring to me now that maybe this was childhood friend Michael Lopes -- while the dream was happening I was only thinking of the friend as "Michael".) The proceedings were not exactly what I expect a funeral to be like; sort of a cross between reader's theater and a role-playing game. The mood was more levity than mourning. Near the end I sought out Michael's mother and asked her why they had set it up this way; her response was, "Because otherwise we would have to speak of him as if he were our son; and we can't do that." (Or possibly "and we are forbidden to do that.")

posted morning of Saturday, November 15th, 2008
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